Using Personality Psychology as a Connection Tool

I encourage each and every one of you to work very hard on translating psychological concepts into metaphor, stories, and language that can help people. We can't expect to explain Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, or other philosophies every time we talk to someone who needs help.

It takes its own work to fully understand these concepts in a way that translates into growth opportunities.

How can the same concepts translate into different cultures? Different economic situations? Different relationship contexts?

A world of challenges exist.

Many people say: "if only the world knew typology, we wouldn't argue or fight so much" but what is the real lesson underneath the language?

We first have to think about how we see people before fully understanding personality...

Stupid? Lazy? Controlling? Power-Hungry? Rigid? Flaky? Selfish? Opinionated? Trolly? Assholes? Evil? Boring?

These are all expressions of a missed connection.

What are we really hoping for from other people?

Connection? Perspective? Solutions? Patience? Purpose? Responsibility? Service? Space? Attention? Help? Care? Love? Respect? Trust?

When we can't get what we want from someone we assign a negative charge to that person. Yet, these things are happening at such a fast pace, and at a micro-level, that we can't see when or how we decided to refer to someone as selfish, greedy, flaky, an asshole, etc.

Typology is a tool. It gives us a language for what is going on under the hood in our and someone else's mind. Not an exact measure of what someone is thinking, it's not mind-reading but an opportunity to see that they're going to look at something differently, inherently. To see that these reactions aren't instant but it's that we're missing the language to connect our perception and our judgment.

It is incredibly useful to start seeing these differences as strengths, not dividers. To see more people as teachers, not just one-dimensional heroes, and villains. One type of mind couldn't construct the civilizations that have risen and fallen for centuries. Humans connect, through their differences, to build amazing things. Painters become better by seeing different minds create different things. Entire industries grow when a drop of fresh perspective gets brought into the fold.

That is the power of personality psychology, to create a connection so we can create things bigger than ourselves, bigger than our lifetimes.

Many of us understand this power we wield, however, to connect with the world we need to better adapt to the different ways that people learn and think. Not make them think like us.

That's what I think this is all about, to begin with.


If you're still learning typology, we have a free class teaching the fundamentals of Myers-Briggs. This class is delivered to your e-mail inbox by signing up at

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