Updated: Oct 27, 2020
I follow a simple mantra in my life...to scrutinizing ideas...not identity. This is more of a recent idea for me. It's a way I can still be a bit "ruthless" at times as an INTP with direct truths and jokes but in a focused way that doesn't detract from the point of what I'm trying to say, which is usually an attempt at connecting or helping.
Ideas are what people make decisions about, not necessarily who they are. They aren't stuck with it, they weren't forced into it, or born with it. This means there is room for scrutiny without hitting a core nerve.
Identities, however, aren't something many people choose, are maybe wrestling with, or have formulated strong walls around and even these walls can be seen as life or death related to identity.
If a friend is genuinely trying to lose weight...don't mess with that. This is important to them and I'm sure they're trying their best.
If a friend is continually using denial or bad logic to vocally justify where they are and being a menace about it to themselves or others then it's fair game to scrutinize that belief.
I emphasize "friend" because at least you have some rapport with a friend first. Trying to forcibly correct a stranger isn't a good use of your time.
And yeah, I know, maybe you do just want people to think more like you and let things go or not sweat those things so much. Or perhaps the answer to behavior is clear to you but not to them. You're only trying to help, right? Well, sometimes we've gotta let people thrash and figure things out the ways they know how. Everyone does what makes sense to them and they often need to find their own way.
This isn't a call towards hypersensitivity, "censoring," pandering, or even a call to be a jerk, so much as it's a simple mechanism to know what is effective when using "roasting" as a connection tool, which happens to be common for NTs like me in the Myers-Briggs Typology System. But hey, it's not just NTs, anyone can be a jerk.
This works equally well in the direction of giving compliments. Complimenting a stranger about a body part is typically in poor taste and grounds for "creeper" status but complimenting a choice..."That's a rad hat! And It looks so good on you! "or" Those shoes really match your vibe!" then you're less likely to be put someone off or force their walls to go up.
All I'm trying to say here is that you'll be more effective in a comedic or connecting way if you're focusing on the choices and ideas coming from someone as they've maybe had some doubts anyway and you can help calibrate, as opposed to something a bit more solid and personal such as identity...and the efforts and insecurities attached to those identities.
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This is a great launching point if you are absolutely brand new to understanding yourself as an INTP. Packed with advice from the creator of this platform, who is also an INTP, you will be certain to gain a few a-ha moments from this program created in-house at DOPEamine Premium. Recommended for absolute beginners wanting advice directly from a fellow INTP.
Personality Hacker is where I've learned everything I know about personality profiling, being an INTP, and teaching various systems for personal growth. Their INTP Starter Kit includes loads of reading material aimed specifically at growth and excellence. Personality Hacker brings a brand of professionalism to Myers-Briggs teaching that is like none other in the personal growth space. Recommended for beginners focused on disciplined growth and greatness.
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This program is unlike any other I've taken in recent memory. INTx Unleashed is a chronicle of the experiences of high-performing INTPs and INTJs. There are multiple interviews, breakdowns, and important reframes that can change the course of your personal history as an INTP. What's unique is that you'll see how both INTPs and INTJs can learn from each other. So, you'll want to listen to all of the interviews and breakdowns to get the full experience. I've personally taken this program and it is highly recommended. Recommended for INTPs and INTJs aiming to become high performers.
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